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Recently I have been thinking about being a mother and how the choices I make not only affect my own life, but Brody's also. Everyday I struggle with the one question I'm sure every mother struggles with and that is am I doing the very best thing I could do for my child. I decided this morning I needed to have a little time to myself before Casey went into work. I wanted to lay in the tanning bed and the entire time I was in that cancer bed I was thinking "Gosh I hope I don't get cancer from this". When I was a teenager, I would lay 40 minutes at one time. Now that I have Brody I couldn't even lay 20 minutes without getting out and just sitting in the chair. Maybe I'll get a little bit of a tan by sitting close to the tanning bed !
It wasn't until the other day I really realized how much Brody has changed me. I was driving home after grabbing some fast food and a lady was getting onto the interstate. There was just something about her driving that made me mad. I started to drive very fast and pull slightly upon her bumper and then I realized "Wow I have my child in here". Before, I would have cut her off and probably would have used my horn for the wrong reasons it was manufactured for and occasionally I might do something I will not write, but all you that know me can guess. This road rage is something that has been passed down from my father and to be honest in the past I just couldn't control it. Brody has definitely helped me with that little problem.
When it comes to discipline I'm the one that has to do that around here. Brody has his daddy wrapped around his itty bitty finger. Lately, Brody has decided he is in control and he can give Momma spankings when he does something wrong. I use to think I had all the answers to raising this child, but I have hit a little bump in the road. How do you discipline a one year old. He is to young for timeout and he is just to little to spank on the bottom. The temper tantrums have gotten a little worse and I just don't have the right solution on how to punish him. I will be so happy for his check up on Monday and hopefully the doctor can give us some advice on discipline.
In the end, I might not make the best decisions always, but having Brody has definitely made me think twice about my choices in life.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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2 comments:
Don't be so hard on yourself...I've seen you in action and you are a great mommy!
Having a child completely changes you! It is crazy... and you will always be so hard on yourself no matter what it is that you are doing... it is just the nature of being a new mom. I beat myself up so bad sometimes! You just have to seek God's guidance in all decisions... even the small ones! Be encouraged that you are not alone! I do have a reccomendation though... it is www.growingkids.org... they have a great book series from newborn through teenage years... and it is Christian based... it will be a big help... meanwhile pad you tush a little more for those spankings from Brody ;)
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